Have Many Cheat On Any – Infidelity Rule

April 08, 2018

April 6, 2018 headline says 60% domestic violence cases in the city have infidelity spin-off”

Mar 29, 2018 headline  says “Man murders wife, surrenders before police”

The list is never-ending, I am a firm believer that with so-called digitization, access to gadgets, more earnings, it has become easy to have a fling/affair outside committed relationship than it was a decade before. Its no more only for Stars and Business class, even the middle class & lower middle class can afford it now.

Infidelity or cheating on a partner is costly. Not only it leads to breaking families but also creates a long-lasting impact on generations to come.

Junot Diaz says “Love is understood, in a historical way, as one of the great human vocations - but its counterspell has always been infidelity. This terrible, terrible betrayal that can tear apart not only another person, not only oneself but whole families.”

Infidelity is fascinating because it's so revelatory about people. It's this a really silent thing that everyone acknowledges as a general practice, but nobody likes to go beyond that, to get down to the details.

Let me try to break down for you.

At first, place Why Infidelity?

Infidelity is one of the most upsetting things one can experience in a relationship, but...

 What motivates partners to be disloyal?

No more love and unsatisfied sex life, both are strong motivation to look for partners outside a committed relationship. Thus for intimacy, feeling valued and desirable one doesn't mind to have few more partners.     
Next comes negligence, this is more common among married couples after other events viz career, kids take over and romance starts to fade away.

There are people who enjoy variety and motto is to live life fully, getting attached to different partners is no big deal for them.

It can be situational too, momentary liking when drunk or high on vacation alone, at times it could be due to anger on a partner also.

Just to add according to me ANGER is the most futile emotion human being can have.

How to deal with Infidelity?

If we look at the WHY factors mentioned above, Love and Sex is something that is dependent on both partners, no matter how long you have been together, if one seriously wants to sustain relationship or marriage, the romance part cannot be ignored. Whatever small time you get to keep the romance alive in small forms you can, keep doing it.

A study reveals that few wives had implicitly consented with their husband having a lover because they were no longer interested in sex, at all. They both, to some degree, got what they needed without having to give up what they wanted. 
The decision is yours, it's not so convenient as mentioned in above study to accept the cheating part. I mean no one wants to hurt other partner and thus chooses to lie.

Divorce/ murder/violence isn’t the solution, particularly when the unfaithful spouse is regretful and committed to change. I am confident that it is possible to get same bonding back on the trail and revive faith, love, and passion. One will not forget, but forgiveness is not meant for the disloyal, it is a gift other partners give to themselves.

Maybe I am being too practical about issues that are filled with guiltiness and bitterness. It's so easy to talk hypothetically about relationships than to navigate it.


pic courtesy shutterstock.com

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