Does attachment kill connection?

 

Zishaan and Shanaya when met for the first time, they felt an instant connection. It was like they have known each other from another life. Their connection was based on mutual respect, trust, and shared values. They supported each other through difficult times. The connection they shared was strong and beautiful with profound emotions but it did not mean that they were attached.

As time passed, they became each other rock, they found solace, comfort, and security in their connection.

However, Shanaya realized that her connection has started to overshadow by attachment, at times she would be overly clingy and fear of losing Zishaan started cropping up, in her heart. She started seeking constant validation and felt anxious, and unhappy when Zishaan was not around. The shift to attachment was so visible.

So many of us, once felt deeply connected, and suddenly one day it all fizzles out and when it happens people want to hold it tight, especially females. As for men, it does not matter much.

My sweethearts, if we have to struggle to let it go, it was never a connection, it was attachment only.

 

Attachment is suffocating and kills the connection.

 

How to know if it is a connection or attachment?

 

1.     Attachment takes away the present, if we are more focused on the past or the future, we are attached.

We will overanalyze and tend to think about how it will end and start to expect how things should be between the two.

Connection is all about now.

2.     Attachment is based on need, it is self-centered

One will always look for their needs to be met by the other person, while some needs are reasonable even in a deep connection. Also in deep connection, needs are already met otherwise you are not connected.

For instance, if we are truly connected, there would be no fear or insecurity, and our trust is higher. Even if he or she isn’t present or reachable at all times, fear bells do not ring in our heads, if he or she doesn’t call us or can’t see us.

We will continue to have that loving feeling, and go on with life as usual and wait to reach out again.

When we are connected, we recognize a part of us in another person.

3.     Attachment is an unhealthy emotional need for others to act a certain way to make us happy. It’s all about what he or she can or can’t do that makes one happy.

When we are trying to get something there is little room for real connection.

The connection once felt begins to turn into an obligation and we start to feel anger and bitterness.

What connections lead to?

For me connections are freedom, and beautiful, forever relationships form and grow when real connection deepens without unwarranted expectations.

Relationships don’t create a connection.  Connection creates relationships.

 

Not all connections will turn into relationships, the acceptance of this reality is freedom!!!

Real connections happen when there are no rules and specific commitments.

Just think of one of your best friends, we can go years without seeing one another, but the connection never lessens.

Try to enjoy each connection at the moment. Be unattached and free.

We can have intense connections even with ourselves, connecting to something bigger and divine. The fewer attachments we have in life, the more connections will organically begin to flow into our life.

Focus on being more open to experiences and not outcomes. When we experience connections without attachments, we have found freedom and freedom is highly magnetizing.

A strong connection based on understanding, and respect coupled with secure attachment allows growth and independence and can lead to a bond that will be enduring.

 

Love,

NSK

Pic courtesy freepik.com